Me: "Good evening, this is [My Name] from the front desk. One of my colleagues will deliver your [item] right away, but they did let me know there is a Do Not Disturb sign on the door."
When the time came to pay the bill, the public body that hired me was late. It happens, but as a small business owner, I can't afford for clients to be late. I tried to engage with the public body to get payment, but was stonewalled. So, I applied the legally required late penalty charges.
One day, I went up to the second floor to pull holds, and heard someone having an extremely... unfiltered... conversation. As I walked towards the back of the second floor, their voice became louder and louder, and I could tell it was because they were sitting in the first-floor niche on their phone. The various patrons I passed had pained expressions.
Me: "While I'm off dealing with this, can you collect the stray carts from the parking lot?"
Kid: "Uh.... why?"
Me: "Because someone has to, and it's not something that takes a lot of training."
Caller: "Yes, I've walked past, and I can see there has been a break-in!"
Me: "Right... Do you mean some kind of building, maybe the church itself?"
Caller: "NO, there was a BREAK IN at the CEMETERY!"
Me: "Thank you for calling [Company] service desk. How may I direct your call?"
Caller: "How about you direct me to someone who knows where they f****** work at!"
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 29 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1001. Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ]. Current Secret Submissions Post:here. Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Coworker: "This is not how we do things in [Her Country]."
Manager: "We are not in [Her Country]. To work here, you have to—"
Coworker: "—I won’t do it. It’s illegal."
Customer's Mother: "I'd like to apologize for her actions yesterday. I didn't raise her to behave the way she behaved, but she's fallen in with a bad crowd at college. Part of her sorority hazing process was to… what was the specific wording, dear?"
Legal Assistant: "There was a typo on [Lawyer]'s business cards. Instead of a three in his phone number, it has a two, which is your number. If you receive calls, just give the person the correct number."
I work in a mall food court. We get a lot of special needs customers, so we let them take their time and order on their own. A couple of them are really nice regulars.
Two such teens are in line with my boss. They're about to order when a man comes up behind them. When my boss starts taking the teens' orders, the man asks loudly:
Customer: "Four general admission tickets."
Me: "Unfortunately, we're sold out on the floor. We have some canceled house tickets in the balcony, so the best I can do is sell you those."
I hear them talk among themselves that they'll just take the balcony tickets and go to the floor anyway.
Brother-In-Law: "What is it?! What's wrong!?"
Me: "You have…" *Counts.* "…nine toolbars in your browser stacked like Jenga. This thing is a little computer virus colony at this point."
Brother-In-Law: "But I have those set up how I like them."
Yep, the day when bakers try - and mostly fail - to remember what a shamrock looks like.
Here, I'll give you a hint:
NOT THIS.
OR THIS.
They're also not lumpy Xs:
Broccoli stalks:
Wonky crosses:
Or cacti!
Got all that?
Ok... GO.
See, now you're just screwing with me.
Tell you what, bakers, just go back to making leprechauns.
I mean pots of gold.
I mean rainbows.
OH NEVER MIND.
Thanks to Sheree K., Jerod J., Marisa F., Vanessa L., Paula P., Adrienne L., Julie S., Liz, Michael L., & Cara D. for proving there IS such a thing as too much green beer.
Me: "As for me, I'm fascinated by the historic nature of myths. My thesis is actually about the idea of dragons developing over time."
Friend Of Friend: "Is that a bit like dinosaurs? People hey say, used to exist, but no one really knows."
Greetings and welcome to my mini series about my Cousin Joe. Why is this a mini series? My cousin Joe has done quite a bit of things over the years and instead of writing one very long story, I wanted to break it up in to different stories. There’s a lot to cover. For context […]