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Plot Twist: Jobs Are Work
Jun. 27th, 2025 10:00 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feedRead Plot Twist: Jobs Are Work
As [Brother] and I were getting trained, basically the overall rule was "don't argue with [Coworker], but don't listen to a word she says".
notalwaysright_feedTreasure, Not Trauma
Jun. 27th, 2025 09:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Treasure, Not Trauma
I work in an aquarium supply store. A customer comes up holding a decoration for his tank.
Customer: "Hi, yeah, I bought this yesterday and it scared my fish."
Me: "...It scared your fish?"
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Well, SOMETHING Is Lowering The Temperature In Here
Jun. 27th, 2025 08:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Well, SOMETHING Is Lowering The Temperature In Here
I work in the home electronics section. A customer walks up holding a boxed smart thermostat.
Customer: "Excuse me, I need you to explain why this is so expensive. It’s just a thermostat!"
Drowning In Entitlement
Jun. 27th, 2025 07:00 pmnotalwaysright_feed
Customer: *Loudly.* "Excuse me! My son just slipped near the pool. Aren’t you supposed to be stopping that?!"
Me: "He was running. We’ve got signs posted, announcements every fifteen minutes, and I personally told him twice."
Need To Screen The Requests Better
Jun. 27th, 2025 05:55 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Need To Screen The Requests Better
As such, we had a bunch of old 15" LCD screens that were being disposed of. A lot of staff asked what we were doing with the old screens. As we were disposing of them anyway, we decided to offer them to the staff to keep at no cost.
The offer was to give one to each staff member who wanted one, and if there were any left over, staff could have another one. This was to be fair to everyone who wanted "free computer stuff".
Day… Month… Year… Beer!
Jun. 27th, 2025 05:45 pmnotalwaysright_feed
Me: "Just let me see. This is a British ID?"
Customer: "Driver's license, but yeah."
Me: "Nice try. If this were an American ID, you'd be twenty-one. But this is British, so I know it goes day-month-year. You're not twenty-one yet."
Dad Jokes Are Bigger In Texas
Jun. 27th, 2025 05:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Dad Jokes Are Bigger In Texas
Waitress: "Can I get you guys any desserts? We do a real good pie."
Me: "Oh, the pie sounds nice, but no cream, please."
Waitress: "Oh, but you gotta get the cream! It's actually illegal not to have cream with pie in Texas!"
Whether You Talk About The Weather Depends On Your Britishness
Jun. 27th, 2025 04:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Whether You Talk About The Weather Depends On Your Britishness
Shopkeeper: "That's £2, please, mate."
Me: *As I tap my card, I realise that doesn't sound right.* "Hang on, £2? Isn't it supposed to be £3?"
Shopkeeper: *Stares at me for a long moment.* "Christ, you're right. I think my brain has melted."
Read Whether You Talk About The Weather Depends On Your Britishness
Under The Same Account… And Roof
Jun. 27th, 2025 03:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Under The Same Account… And Roof
About eight or nine years ago, a man came to our hotel with a young woman on his arm. They'd just come from a local bar and were looking for a room. I took his card and ID and noticed he was already registered. I mentioned this, and he said he needed a separate room. Reserving my judgement of this dillweed, I ran an authorization on his card and checked him in.
Sweet Home Tiranë
Jun. 27th, 2025 03:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Sweet Home Tiranë
I'm speaking to a coworker in another language, spoken by most of the workers at this family-run deli. As I am doing so, a customer storms over, looking upset. She is on her phone but has interrupted her conversation to shout at us:
Customer: "This is America! Whatever language that is, you stop it!"
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Sorry, Mario! Your Cake Wreck Is RIGHT HERE.
Jun. 27th, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedWhen Allison H. sent this inspiration photo to her baker, her baker assured her she could "replicate it exactly."
As it turns out, though, Allison and her baker MAY have different definitions of "replicate" and "exactly."
o.0
And that's why you should never do 'shrooms, kids - unless you know how to cover them in fondant.
#ProTips
Choose Your Battles, Part 18
Jun. 27th, 2025 02:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Choose Your Battles, Part 18
Cousin: "[My Name], you're a twin?"
Me: "Yeah! He's gone out with my dad to get ice."
Cousin: "Have you been a twin all your life?"
A Different Kind Of Soap Opera Drama, Part 3
Jun. 27th, 2025 01:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead A Different Kind Of Soap Opera Drama, Part 3
Roommate: "What did you do?!"
Me: "I'm just giving them an extra scrub with soap. I—"
Roommate: "—Where did all the bubbles come from?"
Me: "Uh... the soap."
Roommate: "What?! Show me!"
Oh No, Pharaoh
Jun. 27th, 2025 01:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Oh No, Pharaoh
Customer: "Oh, that's a pretty name. Where is it from?"
Me: "Egypt, ma'am."
Customer: "Are you from there?"
Me: "I was born there, but I moved to the U.S. when I was nine."
Customer: "So did you, like, grow up in a pyramid?"
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(no subject)
Jun. 27th, 2025 12:45 pmnotalwaysright_feed(My college student daughter and I both do cosplay. We’re cutting and pinning fabric for a new costume, when I realize we haven’t replaced our seam gauge, so I grab an old plastic ruler. Most rulers are marked so you measure starting at the end, but I notice this one has start and end markings […]
(no subject)
Jun. 27th, 2025 11:30 amnotalwaysright_feedI am the son of Indian immigrants. When I was in elementary school, my parents sent me to an Indian culture class, where the students learnt 1 language, geography, culture, and Hindu mythology. Since I speak Telugu near fluently (though I can’t write it), my parents made me learn Hindi instead. That ended up being […]
This Story Has A Silver Lining
Jun. 27th, 2025 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead This Story Has A Silver Lining
I'm serving a table for five. The mother at the table is extremely rude, complaining the entire time. There's too much ice in her drink, not enough carbonation in her Diet Coke, her son's broccoli is cut too big, the music is too loud, the ketchup is too sweet, the fries are too short, etc.